anorgasmia

[metaphorliteral]

The reason I can't come any more
might be as simple as a side-effect of drugs--
because it's listed as a common one
whenever you're messing with serotonin,
and marked on every pill I take--
but I don't think that's it
because I didn't have this problem last year,
and my medication hasn't changed since then.

It could just be boredom.
There's nothing surprising about my own body
when I've had it for twenty-six years
(thirteen of them sexually curious)
and anyways there's nothing unexpected
when I'm the one doing the touching,
but I don't think that's it either
although maybe it'd help to invest in a new toy.

I think it's deprivation. I'm starved for touch
from friendly exploratory fingers,
clever generous mouths,
the weight of a body atop mine.
I'm desperate to be manipulated
by someone kind (but maybe a little bit evil),
hungry for contact, for reciprocity.
It could be that I just need someone else's hands on me.